maybe a bit off the edge?

[melissag]

Dingo, let me apologize for the thread jack - but maybe the clarification I am looking for will help you, too.

Sandi, I am curious whether you advice re: not making oneself available to the WAS applies to all LBSs, or if this was specific to Dingo bc of the OM situation.

I'm just making personal conversation now, but I have watched people here on this board for several years. LBS's have huge problems with holidays & special events. They can be thrown out in the ditch by their WAW, and still think they are suppose to buy a gift/card or do something on their anniversary (or next holiday. That is nuts!

I guess I would still say HB to my H because I don't want to be bitchy or come off as vindictive. I guess I kind of want to be his rock. Sure, he might meet some other woman but when she acts like a crazy person, there I will be, steady and calm.

Now that I write that, it sounds kind of stupid.

But I am not sure I buy into the idea that if my H chooses to leave, I can never be friends with him again?

By sending her a TM, you fed her emotional food and instead of thinking how wonderful you are, a WAW is more likely to just continue on with their WAW lifestyle, believing they are doing fine.

This makes a whole lot of sense. My fear is that, if I don't send the TM, then he thinks, "she's such a bitch, I'm glad I left her."