Heather, Don't air your dirty laundry that is between you and your h. This is your business and as such, you should be only stating the facts of what you are expecting in return for your time as a teacher.
You could always say
I realize that in the past, our agreement has worked well, h however, w/the economy the way it is, I am going to be required to charge and/or increase by fees effective immediately.
Heather, why tell them you aren't expecting them to pay this particular invoice? That's crazy...you did the work...get paid for it. It's nice to be friends and do favors for others...but you are the one that is trying to find money to pay your bills, do the little extra things w/your daughters and yes, help fund your daughter's college expenses. Let's be honest...each and every parent can pay the bill if they truly wanted to. Many people cry poor me just so that they don't have to come up w/the funds. They know you have a soft heart and will do whatever they want. It's called using you. I see it every day.
Please stop allowing others to take advantage of you. Stick to the boundaries and have them pay or they walk...your time is valuable and precious.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
This is for Feb, going forward. I ask for payment on the first of the month--before I do the services. Now, this family has already received lots by way of free services and she gave me $50 for January. But, in order to move forward, I'm asking for $150.
I will take out the details that are personal and not relevant. I guess I'm scared, without some explanation I will lose the friendship--but, in reality, they really aren't people I want to hang with anymore. I want to surround myself with winners. They don't really fit this category.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Heather, The economy is expensive these days and if you were to look up other home school teachers' salaries, you'd be surprised at what they charge. Let's face it, they know things are going up, not down, so they should realize that your salary will too.
You don't owe them any explanation but to say that due to the economy and my expenses to home school, I will be charging $$$ and it will be payable at the first of the month. If not paid on the 1st, there will be a late fee incurred in the amount of $...each day it is late.
Heather, you are running a business and a business can't profit if the manager is soft hearted and takes on every sob job out there. Be firm, don't share your personal business w/them because it's not relevant to your time and money spent on having the children in your home in a nice, cozy and warm environment.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I agree heather... This is your business. It's a profit making business not a NGO. You are in demand and should be compensated fairly for it.
On a seperate note I wanted to tell you that I am grateful to know you. Your determination to work through this inspires me. Like we have said before - I wouldn't have chosen this journey - but since I was put on it I have been grateful and grateful for the people like you that have come into my life.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
I agree with others, don’t put the personal details in the letter. Just simply say that your circumstances have changed and you cannot provide free service anymore. I don’t know if you are looking for more clients. If you are I would put some incentive for your existing once, that you would discount their fee for a few months if they recommend new clients to you and they at least stick for a few months. Just an idea.
Thanks for a great posting on my thread! I love it.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
You guys really made my morning. Thanks for the nice thoughts and support.
Sadly, hasn't been the greatest morning. I woke up grumpy. I still don't feel well and I'm angry that I have to go get more juice and wood in the barn and so forth. But, I picked myself up and showered, got dressed, make up on...teaching demeanor and started lessons.
Felt a little better. Gave a much abbreviated invoice/letter to the pain in the a$$ "friends" (who surprised me yesterday with another $50). I feel a lil better about that sitch, although I really need to watch myself with them because they are worth shi! when it comes to helping ME out. I asked them for a bale of straw and some chicken food and it was this long drawn out ordeal and I still have no straw or chicken food.
Why is it that the easiest thing (they have a chicken farm for cripe's sake--the thing that would make my life so much easier and make it so much more worthwhile because I wouldn't have to drive to pick up chicken feed and straw!) Why is this lil thing so hard for them? Dumba$$e$. Seriously, making the chicken thing easier would make the other stuff so much better to take.
It feels good to vent. Thanks.
Oh, and I received this lovely text from Smokey this morning in reference to the $175 owed to the college for next year's housing deposit.
Smokey: That's too bad. I guess she should of worked over winter break. I deposited $100 in checking on Saturday along with paying the mortgage. I don't have anything. The electric called yesterday to say they shut the electric off at the house on the Feb 4 if you don't pay the $187 you owe.
Wasn't that nice? Sweeet guy.
I paid the electric yesterday. This is the month when I get slammed for keeping the monthly payments at the same rate all year. My bill was $580, I put down $200.
I'm angry this morning. I'm sick of all of this. Grrrrrr....
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
OH, but Smokey says I'm the one who is angry! Sounds pretty dammmn angry to me.
Vent.
I'm sick of people, like Smokey and the dumba$$ clients takin a big ol crap on me when I'm doing my best to hold down the fort. I got D19 back to school. I packed and loading and got her there and I'm here taking care of business and he's upset because I'm asking for her housing deposit??
Wha?????
STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID. STUPID!!! I'M SICK OF STUPID.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
This is what I sent to Smokey. It was way too long, but it was financial stuff and I needed to say it. I think I handled it ok.
Me:
Ok. I appreciate the deposit and the mortgage payment. Jan is when the electric is high because the balance from keeping the payment around the same is applied this month. The bill was over $500. I paid $200 yesterday.
D19 is applying for jobs this week on campus. She applied to 3 over break. Maybe you need to talk to her about financial/college arrangement.
I paid for parkas for both girls, bought two textbooks, handled the $200 script, got her back to school and spent $150 on supplies and cash for her. I was hoping you could help with the housing expense.
I'm shaking. Cheezeits!
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
You just might get angry w/my posting this morning but..
Sounds to me like you are angry this morning because of the "expectations" that you have placed on others. Drop that expectation scale to zero and you might find that your periods of anger might slowly fade away. This is where you get angry and disappointed and sometimes hurt because you are expecting people to handle things the way that you would...it doesn't always happen that way.
I would not have any expectations about your so called friends. As far as they most likely see it, they are paying you a sum of money and feel that it's up to you to get your own chicken feed and straw. I wouldn't rely on them for such stuff even though you may have had an agreement in the past. It's time now for Heather to get stronger and more independent and do some of these nit picky jobs herself. I know, you don't like to do it...so if that's the case, get rid of the chickens and that would alleviate your issue w/the feed and straw and cut down on your energy level as well as expense.
I'm glad they came up w/some money for you. However, you need to stick to your boundaries and not waffle when it comes to invoice/payment time.
I'm surprised that your h put money into the account yesterday after the way the girls treated him when he visited. He could have made it quite difficult for your D19 by not putting $100 in at all. I would be thankful for what he did put in there and he's right...your D19 should have picked up a temp job while she was off. This would have helped off set some of her expenses now that she's back in school.
At least he's paid the mortgage and he did let you know about the electric. That's more than some of these jerks do for their spouses. Some of the spouses are notified at the very end that the mortgage payments haven't been made or the utilities are being cut off and it's scramble time for them. At least you are fairly caught up on some of your expenses, etc. Let me ask you this...would you have preferred that he not notified you of what he's done in the way of depositing and paying the mortgage?
As for the monthly payments...you should always put aside additional funds during the months of December, January, February and March. I don't know how your payment plan is set up, but I would begin putting aside more than $200 a month so that you aren't slammed hard during the winter. Review your account and start having an additional $20-50 set aside and that way you won't feel the pinch quite as bad.
Heather, you need to start looking at the glass as half full and not half empty. Your h did advise you of what he's done in the monetary department...I would be very grateful for that info. You have to remember...he's got expenses too and no matter how you slice it...money only goes so far and you can't get blood out of a turnip once the money has been spent.
I realize that you are sick of all of this...but you can change this because you can enforce your boundaries when it comes to your salary, i.e., what you are being paid. You can also do what needs to be done in the way of child support. The ball is really in your court as to whether you want to continue to scrimp each and every month for that little dime or if you want something put into place to ensure that you have a nice income and child support. You and only you can make that decision.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
So, do I add a thank you or an I agree about the job thing? I do agree. She should have a job. She should have had a job over break. Do I say I'm grateful he made a deposit after the girls treated him poorly?
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
