Mount Everest. STILL Forbidding. Aloof...

[job]

Heather,

You just might get angry w/my posting this morning but..

Sounds to me like you are angry this morning because of the "expectations" that you have placed on others. Drop that expectation scale to zero and you might find that your periods of anger might slowly fade away. This is where you get angry and disappointed and sometimes hurt because you are expecting people to handle things the way that you would...it doesn't always happen that way.

I would not have any expectations about your so called friends. As far as they most likely see it, they are paying you a sum of money and feel that it's up to you to get your own chicken feed and straw. I wouldn't rely on them for such stuff even though you may have had an agreement in the past. It's time now for Heather to get stronger and more independent and do some of these nit picky jobs herself. I know, you don't like to do it...so if that's the case, get rid of the chickens and that would alleviate your issue w/the feed and straw and cut down on your energy level as well as expense.

I'm glad they came up w/some money for you. However, you need to stick to your boundaries and not waffle when it comes to invoice/payment time.

I'm surprised that your h put money into the account yesterday after the way the girls treated him when he visited. He could have made it quite difficult for your D19 by not putting $100 in at all. I would be thankful for what he did put in there and he's right...your D19 should have picked up a temp job while she was off. This would have helped off set some of her expenses now that she's back in school.

At least he's paid the mortgage and he did let you know about the electric. That's more than some of these jerks do for their spouses. Some of the spouses are notified at the very end that the mortgage payments haven't been made or the utilities are being cut off and it's scramble time for them. At least you are fairly caught up on some of your expenses, etc. Let me ask you this...would you have preferred that he not notified you of what he's done in the way of depositing and paying the mortgage?

As for the monthly payments...you should always put aside additional funds during the months of December, January, February and March. I don't know how your payment plan is set up, but I would begin putting aside more than $200 a month so that you aren't slammed hard during the winter. Review your account and start having an additional $20-50 set aside and that way you won't feel the pinch quite as bad.

Heather, you need to start looking at the glass as half full and not half empty. Your h did advise you of what he's done in the monetary department...I would be very grateful for that info. You have to remember...he's got expenses too and no matter how you slice it...money only goes so far and you can't get blood out of a turnip once the money has been spent.

I realize that you are sick of all of this...but you can change this because you can enforce your boundaries when it comes to your salary, i.e., what you are being paid. You can also do what needs to be done in the way of child support. The ball is really in your court as to whether you want to continue to scrimp each and every month for that little dime or if you want something put into place to ensure that you have a nice income and child support. You and only you can make that decision.