WH, the car xh told me about. I found out about the house when I received an email confirming the purchase and delivery of appliances (xh was unaware that our old family email was still on his rewards account). I went to the county recorder's office to get the title. Regarding the dentist expenses, I have access to claims information for xh and the boys. I set up the username and password and xh hasn't changed it.
In my state, as long as xh is paying support he has a continuing fiduciary responsibility to me as if we were still married. That means he needs to provide any loan documents, tax returns, etc. to me when I ask for them. I am sure xh didn't know that. His attorney should have told him what his disclosure obligations are. If xh refused to provide documents then his attorney should resign from representing him since he has a professional and ethical responsibility as an officer of the court. So, either he is completely inept or he just kept pocketing money with full knowledge that xh was in breach of family law codes which are sanctionable.
WH, you might have access to more than you realize. Keep your eyes and ears open and write down everything even if it seems insignificant. Over time I was able to see a lot of contradictory statements, lies about expenses, etc. I found out a lot from xh's spewing emails.
