Perspective - The Reality of the Trip

[RealityTrip]

Well... we had an argument last night. hmmph.

I picked W up from airport. Happy, happy, joy, joy, love, love, missed you... let's go to dinner! Yay for us.

On the drive, W wants to know if I put her BFF (who has always supported me) up to contacting her. "Nope". Of course I talk to her, of course she asks how W is doing, but I'm tired of being in the middle. Ya know what... call her yourself. So BFF did. She reached out and has been texting W trying to reconnect. GREAT! But W is resentful and holding a grudge that BFF "abandonded" her when W ran away with xOW.

So none of this is relevant to me... I'm giving them space to figure out there own relationship except that BFF is going on my birthday/vacation trip with me and my family. W has reservations about going because she hasn't mended relationship with BFF... and only started to with my family.

To make a long story short. She wanted to make going or not going on my 40th birthday vacation about her feelings and fears and I wanted to make it about me because it's my birthday and only I matter. (selfish me, hello! how have you been?)

Wham bam, a whole lotta "talking" and not much listening with some zingers from me... I lost my patience. "When are you going to realize that it's not just about you and your guilt and pain? A lot of people have been hurt by this whole situation."

Yowza.

But on the bright side... HA!... seriously... we recovered quickly thanks mostly to my W. She never used to let go of the "bone" in a dog fight, but she lowered her voice, looked me in the eyes (lovin' that! she does it all the time now. I missed looking into her eyes.) and said that she didn't want to fight, let's have a nice dinner together and I missed you.

We did. had a nice diner that is. Went home, crawled into bed. She kissed me deeply. I read for one of my classes while she, very tired from traveling, fell asleep.

This morning, although she didn't have to, she woke up with me to have coffee, she laid across my lap seeking physical touch that I gave her and we are ok.

Look at that. We can argue and not fall apart. I was afraid of that during these early months of trying to reconcile. She's getting stronger. So am I.