Kgirl, a lot of the DB'n feels counter intuitive. Almost all of it feels wrong at certain times. But your missing the point, its not how it makes you feel sometimes, its about letting go of how you feel it makes him feel. If that makes sense? To stop mind reading on how HE might take it. Your having expectations that will surely only let you down time and time again.
First, the point is to show strength that you CAN make it without him, even if your not feeling it. FAKE it till you make it. Second, he cant miss what your always trying to give him. He wont feel your loss if your making yourself "available". Finally, you need to be able to act like nothing he does can hurt you, let it roll right off you.
It will all feel like monumental tasks at times, but you need to show happy, act happy, be happy at ALL times. And if none of that works, remember this, the more you pursue the WORSE your making it. Period!!!Theres no way your going to be perfect doing this, but when you fall, get back up and get at it again.
Your trying so hard to have the perfect response, say the right thing, be the perfect wife. All while he's got a wall up around him a MILE tall. Be the person only a fool would leave, are you that person yet? then get to work. You cant live your life in response to his, your only holding yourself back. The more you hold growth back, the easier your making it for him to see he's making the right choices.
Are you following anyone else's sitch? find one that you can relate to, but make sure its a longer one, like 4-5 threads/parts. And read it from the beginning, see if you can find the mistakes or progress in the thread. Pay attention to how LONG this process can take. If you aren't going to have the patience to let this all play out, your right you might as well file right now, and save yourself the time.
KG, you barely a warm cup of coffee into this, your panicking, your not in control of yourself, and your not following the 37 rules. So I know you have work to do, its time to stop thinking about what and why he's going thru this. And focus on your part of why this happened, fix what you can, the rest will play out all by itself.
