What I met by what my W said is that all you do is 'talk' and no 'actions' have been shown is this. She has mentioned a couple of times that she has seen improvements on what I've been doing, W asks me from time to time what I've learned since I've moved out. I tell her that I'm working on myself and my stuff plus I've learned a lot from what I had and how it is now missing from my life. I talked to her about how I have re-organized my priorities and what used to be important to me the 'small things' are just that 'small things'; I used to get upset over things before I thought about it, if I would of just taken a step back and thought before I spoke there would of been less tension in the house. I also gave examples of things that I refused to do in the past because I didn't want to do them but other members of the family wanted to, I was acting selfish and self centered but have learned to place other peoples needs first.
This is where all 'talk' and no 'action' comes into play. At this time in our relationship W is seeing OM; old HS boyfriend from 25 years ago and W is 100% focused on him so all I can do is 'talk' because we never hangout as a couple. I feel that W is in the lust stage or the relationship and also may be having a MLC based on how fast and serious this relationship has taken off. She is only thinking of herself and placing the kids on the back burner.
I also found out that W has been talking to OM longer than what she has told me. She said that she started talking to him shortly before I moved out, Nov. 1 and had given up on trying to save the marriage mid August; based on how rocky our relationship had been over the past 7-8 months. I found out that W had been talking to other man since late August. OM had always called her when he had a relationship end, he has been married 3 times and W had always told me when he called. Now it was her turn to call him stating she 'can't believe that I'm getting divorced for a 2nd time'. It just so happens that he had also just ended a long relationship, so they cried on each others shoulders plus apparently ignited an old spark.
