I took a couple of days to think it through, but i don't think I could have approached XH while he was with OW in the cinema.
I think WH was spot-on with the idea that he would have been convinced (not without foundation) that i was going to make a scene.
But more so, I just can't bring myself to have anything to do with that woman. And my kids don't want to, either.
XH rang S15 the day after the cinema episode and asked him if he wanted to go out to the dog park. S15 said he sounded sad and upset.
S15 refused and didn't speak much.
It makes me sad to think what XH has lost.
The kids and I went to the beach with the dogs. Tomorrow we are planning to go to the movies again (different cinema from now on). In the meantime, I'm planning on watching another Capra on video.
D17 is working her butt off at the fruit and veg store to get spending money. She turns 18 in 3 weeks and XH does not have to pay child support after that. Ha!
I have been NC with XH since two weeks before Xmas.
Yesterday was D17's 18th birthday - a 'big' event as it signals drinking/voting/general adult rights.
Kids and i were all pretty sad leading up to the day - D17 especially, as she hadn't heard from her dad for so long.
He texted her on the day and asked her to call back to tell him when he could see her. I had organised to take the kids out to dinner at a local cafe on the beach and so told her she could ask him to come if she wanted.
I expected him to refuse but, at the last minute, he texted her he was coming but would be late, and to start without him.
He turned up 20 mins late and said he had to work and could not stay to eat dinner with us.
He sat and ordered a drink and paid for our meals, and ended up not leaving until we had all finished.
Before he left, he asked her to open an envelope, as he wanted her to sign something.
His present to her on her 18th birthday - the registration papers for our clapped-out family car - the one he left us with when he took our good car with him.
He crashed it just before he left it, and it broke down about a month later. It has been sitting immobile in our garage for 2 and a half years.
Judge ordered that he get it repaired 12 months ago, and also ordered that he could not sell or otherwise dispose of any marital property.
It is old and broken and probably only worth scrap value if anyone would want to take it away.
And this is what he proudly 'gave' to our D on her special day.
its not you. he is out of touch. Show your d how to be a strong positive woman despite the fact that her dad has some serious issues.
M48 H50 M21 T26 S20 at college),S17,D15-cp, dev. delay- cogniv 5yrs old PA confirmed 7/2012 H separates 9/2012 H move home 2/13& 7/13 lasted 2weeks.ILYNILWY OW still in picture. h filed 10/13
Is that what he said?? That's not cool at all. Does he realise the state the car is in?
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
No, that's not what he said - it's what my long experience with him suggests will be his response.
He is a master at working up situations in which there is nowhere to turn but his way.
Here, if i tell D18 that there is a court order on marital assets and he has no right to give them away, I look like the bad guy.
If i try to point out that the cost (registration, tyres, repairs, petrol) of running this gas-guzzling huge old car is going to be too much for her... I still look like I'm oppositional (At least it's a car, and she is desperate for transport).
A no-win situation, as usual for everyone.
I'm going to try to be positive in my approach... although i'm sure he will erupt when he realises she is not going to sign the papers straight away. He has already been badgering her via phone.
And yes, to answer your question - he does realise the state the car is in. Judge ordered him to get it repaired 12 months ago because he had left us without any working transport.
I'm more and more worried that there really is something wrong, cognitively (beyond mlc madness, that is).
Hi Bright, Yes, the car is joint property. We have a property settlement hearing scheduled for March.
XH has filled out the form for change of owner, and has listed D18 as the new owner.
The trick is that both of our cars were registered as being owned by our business (for tax purposes) and, as sole director of the business, he can sign off on forms.
But the whole point is that both the business and the cars were joint marital assets, and this is why judge ordered him not to dispose of anything until settlement was decided.
And yet, he proceeds to go ahead and sign over an accident-damaged, broken-down, and likely not-worth-fixing vehicle to our learner-driver daughter for a birthday present.
Well, according to the judge’s order he didn’t have the rights to change the ownership of the car. I don’t think I understand all these fully, my head is kind of spinning, thanks to you XH. If the car is not running, what does he expect you to do? Is he going to fix it?
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
