H asked to come over to see the kids for a few minutes to play in the snow. I told him that was ok. This was my first mistake of the day. It was not H's day to see the kids. Of course he swoops in and takes the kids to a better sledding place and he gets to be the fun daddy. It was my own fault because I have not been keeping my boundaries in place and now they mean nothing. So I was mad at myself about that.
Your H came over and took the kids to go do something fun, and you're mad about it? Why? Is it because you think he's upstaging you? I doubt the kids see it that way. Look at the upside, he's still doing daddy stuff with them (some WAH's out there abandon their kids completely) and he's taking some of the load off of you. Next time he takes them, go treat yourself to a mani/ pedi
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Then when H was here, he mentioned that he had made plans for himself and bil that were quite expensive. H had just given me a lecture last week about how we need to watch what we are spending, etc.
Now this is good reason to be upset. But...
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I pretty much lost it because I am so tired of his one sided criticisms.
You lost it as in yelling at him? I'm not going to 2x4 you, but will offer you this tidbit from DR- before saying or doing anything ask yourself two questions- what is my overall goal and is what I am about to say/ do putting me closer to that goal or moving me farther away? You can also use the same technique to evaluate your actions, did "losing it" help your sitch or make it worse? What could you have done differently that would change that for the better? No need to answer here, just think about it.
