It's Time to Sing a Brand New Song

[Mimi00]

Hey K, thanks again for checking in on my thread.

I called my bank a few weeks ago to ensure I could remove my name from out joint accounts, they said yes, just go to a local branch.

So Last time we got paid I took a portion of what H owes me from a loan he asked for to help him leave... of $600.... so I transferred $250 to my account and walked into the bank to take my name off of the accounts. They told me I can't. We'd have to show up in person or close the accounts totally. I told her that's was not possible to show up in person, and he wouldn't be able to close the accounts in person b/c #1 his direct deposit would have to be switch first #2 there are no branches of our bank in the city he lives, he would have to rent a car to get to one....that would take forever for him to get around to it since it is't a priority for him.

So after I leave the bank H happens to call.... of course he needs something.... he's renting a car to go some where (i didn't ask....but most likely on a vacation or shopping trip) and he needs a proof of the insurance for my car to rent, as his name is shown on it (that's the only thing he still pays for concerning me).

But he asks for the agents number to call her so the insurance people can verify coverage to the rental company.... I say how about I just take a pic of the card and send it? he says No, give me the agents number. So I give it and hang up.... then immediately send a pic of the card....as I hit send, he calls again, asking for a pic of the card b/c the agent wasn't available.....

So after his rental is settled he texts "thanks"... so at that point I assume he hasn't seen that I took $250. I was worried because obviously he's going on a trip or something and planning to spend money... (i saw he tranfered $436 to his personal checking so that specific number makes me assume he purchased airline tickets or something). So I'm like great, he's going to be angry I took the money, as he'll probably need it. So I text him back and let him know what I did and why:

"I transferred $250 as repayment on the $600 loan I gave you in July, but if now is not a good time for that let me know" (I'm only asking for half of the loan back not the full $600)

He asked me to put $100 of it back and said we cant setup payments to pay me back. (set up payments for $300, really?)
So I did..............

A few days later, the checking account was down to $150 (his check was initially $1,800...how in the world do you spend that in 3 days???).....so he removed $50 from our joint savings (now at $450) to cover whatever he is in need of buying. This is his 8 withdraw from the savings just this month.

So I went ahead and transferred the other $150 I took back to him, $50 back into the savings and $100 back into the checking and there's more that 10 days before he'll get paid again.

So today I wake up to our joint account being over drawn -$334 because one of his auto-payments on a school debt came out.

So now out joint savings is down to $368 b/c he's withdrawn a few more times.... I go ahead and transfer $335 out of the savings to cover the overdrawn checking checking.... we now have $30 in our joint savings and $.58 in our joint checking.

Ridiculous....but hey, not my problem....well technically it is b/c my name is still on both of the accounts!!!

So I called the bank again today and complained that they would not allow me to remove my names from these accounts when I showed up to the branch.... she claims I was told wrong information....and that I should be able to get a form, but I will have to send it to H, get him to sign it and send it back to me......awesome

So I will go today and get this form and attempt to get H to sign and send it back to me promptly. I am so tired of seeing his flakey financial situation and how he's spent the savings I worked so hard to build, he contributed nothing to. 2.5 years worth of money I saved gone in just weeks. He's even spent all of the $4,000 policy money he pulled out a few months ago.

I've printed out all records of the account balances for the last 2 years, showing all of his withdrawls incase having that can be useful in the future.

On a positive note, this as been my only dilemma concerning H... since "letting go"..... I feel much better. No more wishing and wondering when the fog will lift.... accepting that it most likely won't life has been a great help TO ME (I know it's not for everyone). I think about H soooo much less. And I go over the "shoulda, coulda, woulda's" almost never, now.

Now my main worries are thinking about dating again....
I was on another forum online and they were discussing how one should NOT date someone who is in the process of divorce, how they should run in to opposite direction and tell the person in divorce process to call them after the divorce is final. I realize many of these people are speaking in ignorance not experience and don't realize that some people are LBS' that have no contact w/ a spouse and some divorces take a while...but still, I worry if I did happen to meet someone that I liked at this point, how to explain my sitch......sheesh. I think I'll just continue to focus on me for now though.

Well I try not to talk about my sitch much... as re-hashing and dwelling isn't always with purpose, just ranting to rant....so I just wanted to rant-slightly/journal and get it out.