Mount Everest. STILL Forbidding. Aloof...

[BrightFuture]

Heather, take care of you. I’ve heard about this terrible bug going around and lots of people get sick.

This is the best time to do the meditation, before bed. And first thing in the morning. I cannot do it before bed, I tend to fall asleep. This is interesting about your dreams. I’ve noticed that I have some weird dreams about H sometimes. I had more of them when he was sick (which I found out later). It was almost like he was trying to connect with me or thinking about me. My dreams about H are very weird and heavy most of the time, it is like I feel the turmoil in his head. Or, maybe it is in my? LOL.

Hope you are having a good day.

[LoisB]

I think people can connect on a higher level. I know that sounds a bit flakey, but I happen to believe it.

I'm not saying Smokey wants to come home today, but I DO think it's possible to send and receive messages/feelings to one another--especially people we have a long and deep connection to.

Maybe there is a PART of Smokey that misses home. Maybe my meditation/affirmations reached him, on some level and he responded because his self-conscious felt it was safe to do so.

IDK.

After this experience, I believe anything is possible.

[LoisB]

Just bounced on the trampoline for an hour!!!! Yay!!!!

Yay for Heather!!!

Give me an H! Give me and E! And the rest of the letters!

I wrote my goals on notecards so I can see them daily.

I have a notebook now which is serving as my nerve center. It has my goals, inspirational sayings, to do lists, phone numbers, etc... And, I only invested in a legal pad, pack of pens, notecards and file folders... Under $10.

Now,

Have to take a shower. Get dressed.

Plan tomorrow.

Head to the discount store from some cleaning supplies.

Come home and clean a little.

Maybe rest some??

Haven't heard back from tech writing lady--so have to stop with what I have done. That's ok though because I'm getting other stuff done.

[LoisB]

Gooooood Januaryeeeeee Mooooooorrning!

I need to journal a bit here. I feel myself spinning (not like a helicopter, more like a dreidel).

D19 is trying to get her bearings back at school and keeps calling me about this decision, this dilemma, this expense, that class, etc... I'm tired.

This morning I got the call, "Mom, it's negative 6 here and they are still having classes. It's dangerously cold. I'm concerned about my safety. Should I go to class?"

In other words, please mom, give me permission to stay in bed.

Here's me on the other end of the phone, biting my lip...trying desperately to suppress my laughter. This from the girl who tried a two story trapeze at the age of 6. Was cited by ski patrol in Park City for ski too fast down the mountain at the age of 9.

Uh No. You gotta bundle up and, at least, try to get to class.

Last night, she reminded me about a $175 housing deposit for next year--due this week. I texted Smokey this morning and gave him the info. Polite and businesslike.

Ok. Today is busy. I received feedback about the tech writing. They like it!!! They have another assignment for me. I will get it today. Yay!!!

I have my little nerve center notebook next to me. Part of my day is already scheduled, but I need to plan the rest.

Most of all, this morning, I need to find my center and stop this spin.

First priority.

[Wonka]

Heather,

Have you thought about joining the Society for Technical Communications? That would expand your opportunities even more. Good job on snagging another assignment!

[uRworthy]

Hey Heather, you crack me up.

So, why the small spin? D19? Contact with Smokey?

I'm thinking that things are looking good.

Its normal that she is wanting to skip class. She is 19, she's got to figure it out. You have to let her a bit, yes?

The tech writing feedback and new assignment - yay, you!

Nothing has changed, right?

You just keep going, Heather. You are doing wonderfully.

[LoisB]

Thanks Guys :-)

Haven't heard back from Smokey about deposit.

Here's what I'm sending to the customers that want to continue to pay nothing. She has texted me daily asking when her kids can come over. Seriously?

January 22, 2014
Dear ,

Let me explain. I didn’t do a very good job last week. I’m only typing because it’s easier to read than my writing.

First of all, you are NOT stepping on any toes, least of all mine. We made an agreement and, up to now, it worked fine for me. I was in a position where I didn’t want to show too much income and I was happy to help.

I’m still happy to help where I’m able. I, normally, would charge $350 to $400 for the time and services I’m providing X and X. I’m not asking this from you guys.

You have been wonderful friends and the low-key arrangement we had was perfect for where I was at last fall.

However, after speaking with three attorneys, I’m becoming aware that I need to get my ducks in a row in order to keep D11 safe from any whim or revenge H may seek. He COULD demand that D11 go back to a mainstream school and he COULD say that I need to show income for a full-time position at minimum wage. If he were to do so, I would need to prove D11’s success with the current homeschool situation AND I would need to show that I’m earning a minimum of $1,300 per month.

Currently, I’m at one-third of what I need income-wise. In addition, H is inconsistent and unreliable with the support payments. I will handle this, but I need to make sure I have things in order, on my end, to protect D11.

My main priority is to protect D11 from further disruption in her life.

I’m including an invoice for February. You are under NO OBLIGATION to pay this amount. I’m simply showing you what I need monthly to continue helping the kids($125 cash, 100lb. bag of chicken feed, 1 bale of straw per month).

I’m also showing what you are getting in return. A commitment from you will mean expectations on both our parts.

You can expect 6 hours of tutoring for X and 3 hours for X weekly. I will also provide documentation to prove what hours and coursework the kids have completed. I will also expect the kids to be here on time and ready to go for the time I schedule.

My goal is to help X and X complete their coursework and develop some good habits in the meantime.

I know this is a hardship for you right now and I wish I could continue the way things have been. I’m trying to play the cards life has dealt.

Sincerely,

I'm sending an invoice along with the letter. If this doesn't clear things up, then I'm washing my hands of them.

[uRworthy]

Hmmm. Not so sure I would want to put all that in writing. It is incriminating of Smokey. I understand that you want to let them know your mindset, but, details of your personal sitch, should stay personal, in my opinion.

A simple explanation - my circumstances have changed in that I can no longer perform my services for free kind of thing, seems more professional and prudent.

[Wonka]

Heather,

Leave out details about H in client letters. Don't mix business with personal stuff in business correspondence.

[LoisB]

Gotcha. Good point. They are good friends--or were!