I know it wasn't encouraging to you - but my W has come full circle after hitting rock bottom. Financially, she is ruined. Her credit will be tanked for 5+ years, and she is having to consolidate to try to get deals on her credit cards. She has always been a spender, and now she is miserable with a ton of debt and hates it. She also realizes that while she's paying off debt the next 3-5 years, that's money we could be using for nice vacations, etc.
I will say this: the fact that she hit rock bottom on this while completely separated from me was big - so it is crucial that your W have this fight without you in it; she can't blame you, and maybe her perspective of both herself, and your relationship can finally change...
