Scott, I think we are married to the same woman! Mine doesn't have rants at me though....just silence. When I do ask her to talk or whether she has anything to talk about that is bugging her she says 'no thanks'.
I just literally broke down 20 minutes ago and instigated a R conversation. It didn't go very well. She is still adamantly opposed to there even being the possibility that our R could change. Heart breaking activity. Perhaps we shouldn't speak to the WAS because it a)may push them away and b)it is super painful for us.
me 41 w43 married 20 years BD 10/10/13 ILYBNILWY.... 4 kids, 21,18,8,6
Perhaps we shouldn't speak to the WAS because it a)may push them away and b)it is super painful for us.
Absolutely. Plus, you're only going to hear what they are feeling RIGHT THEN. They always speak in absolutes- "we are NEVER getting back together", "there is NO CHANCE that we can save this", "I am totally DONE for GOOD". I've been here long enough to follow several sitches from BD to piecing, and ALL of those LBSs have heard the same absolute statements from their WAS's, yet they still made it to piecing. That's why Sandi's rule says not to believe anything they say and only half of what they do, what they say today may not reflect what they are feeling down the road.
And you guys were both BD'd in October, it is WAY too soon to expect your W's to have had a change of heart. Reset your expectations, and remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint!
