Thanks M! I know that I will be able to pick myself up and get back on track. Just feel like I am drowning a little at the moment.
Since I could not sleep, I spent quite a few hours thinking about what I want and why I am so stuck. The bottom line is that my H does not add anything positive to my life. I really cannot have a relationship with him on any level (besides as co-parents) until he is done with the OW. I have known this for months now. I tried to establish that boundary back in November. My H realized that I was pulling away and tried to pull me back in. I allowed him to suck me back and to feel like things may have changed. Nothing changed. My H did not want me, he just wanted to have the option to have me if his current life did not pan out.
I know that I can cut down on our communication. I am just not sure what to do with our family day on Sunday. My kids live for Sundays. They ask if it is Sunday yet so that Mommy and Daddy will be together with them. It will break their heart (and in turn mine) if I stop this. I am not sure what to do about this yet.
The good thing is that I have five days that I don't need to interact with H at all. Five days to be just me. I am bringing some exercise clothes to hit up the gym and run out some of this frustration.
M - I will try my best to put my H and our sitch out of my mind. Thanks so much for your support. It means so much to know there are complete strangers cheering you on!
