Afraid I have waited too long

[nit84]

Just thinking on the topic of going through paperwork before shredding to clean up the mess.

Hopefully, we can do this together. I think it will save time and get more accomplished, in regards to what is garbage and what should be saved.

Should I try to use this opportunity, if it presents itself, to my advantage?

Should I say things like "Wow, we have come a long way since we first bought this house, remember how WE didn't think we could make it moneywise at some points? If you put your heads together everything always works
out. Which is what we did."

The W always took pride, to friends, family and co-workers, in the fact that bills were being paid and even though debt was way higher than it should be. We were doing what we had to get it down. This is something that she was doing way better than most of her family members.

We could still go a vacation and a couple weekend outings and live comfortably.

Underneath it all though, she would privately complain to me that we cant do what we want because of the debt. I told her we were in good shape, we had a plan and it was working.

This is one of the reasons, although too late in hers and others minds, I asked her to start a family about 2 months before the S.

Do I use this time to show her our financial situation again?

letting her see that in a few years we could be debt free, and having a baby is not an issue that would hamper this effort, just prolong it a bit?

I wouldn't come right out and say that, that would be pressure/pursuing. But present the info in such a way that it allows her to see this for herself and makes her think about our sitch and the fact that it is not all that bad except in her mind.

It also doesn't hurt in my mind anyways that, although she is upset about it, I have been doing IMC faithfully since the S, attending Church more often, not presently drinking, and working out and losing weight. That last one has hit a bit of a wall.

The W is able to see this because we are back in the house together, and people have been telling her.

My 180's in regards to cleaning and house upkeep have been going well. The W will say things like you don't have to worry about this or that. I tell her that's ok it needs done.

She will throw her 2 cents in with a little attitude about something I am doing. I listen to what she says then either continue or not depending on whether I agree with what she said or not.

For instance, I was chipping ice off our patio which is a pathway to enter and exit the home and she said "you are going to bust the concrete up". I said " the ice is pretty thick and I don't want anybody falling(her or me)" She said " yeah because we have so many people coming over." I knew that there was a possibility of cracking the concrete and she is correct in saying we don't have or ever had many visitors(because of the cleanliness of the home) so I stopped it and went in to do something else.



Any advice is welcomed.