Slow down, you are like a sports car in the snow....You are spinning your wheels really fast and going nowhere.
First, your are listening to what she has said, not hearing. On top of that, you aren't seeing that her actions are different than her words (That isn't DB man, that is women in general...You know they are from Venus and we are from Mars). You need to stop focusing on what she says and does and go with the flow. It is good she has her own activities....actually very healthy. The problem, as I see it, is you are dependent on her for any happiness, not gal'ing enough, making a ton of excuses, and generally miserable. I like you B, I really do, but things need to change on your end.
Before I continue on with what I see, let's discuss the job;
1- What is tying you to this small town?
2- Why can't you find a job in this small town? Are you tucking in your pride and looking for any type of work or just picking the best work for you?
3- Are you prepared to leave the kids for six months or 3-4 nights a week?
4- Is the pay good enough to cover gas, hotels, food, daycare, etc?
5- Do you think your wife could relocate her position within the company?
6-Do you think two paychecks is more important that having a parent home with the kids all the time?
7- Have you done a budget breakdown and figured out how much money your household would need to operate efficiently?
8- (ties into 7) Could a part time job make enough money to help with bills?
9- Side question....What do you actually do? What are you trained for?
For the moment, let's focus on this job situation. Understand that you live in Australia and I live in the states.....So things are different LOL.
