I am leaving on a school trip on Friday for a week, so H is arriving today to stay with the kids.
Last time we saw him, the kids asked him to stay with us always when he is in town (not just when I am away). I dont think he will, although he said he would 'think about it'.
I spoke to my coach this past week. He advised to continue doing what I am doing. He thought the situation had definitely shifted towards the positive, although of course we are both speculating based only on my observations.
I think the most significant thing I want to write down is what happened most recently. H is in my country right now for work. He told my mom he would be there so they decided to meet.
My mom ended up inviting him to the house for lunch.
They talked a lot. What came out of it was basically that H has taken D off the table. That he is considering possibilities including staying at home again.
That he does not have outside pressure.
That he realises that he can no longer just be a visitor in the children's lives.
He admitted that I am a good mother and a good wife.
He admitted that I have changed a lot.
He said he was scared that I would fall back into old patterns (in MLC talk I guess that means he still does not trust my changes)
For some reason he kept mentioning May as his time frame (maybe because of end of school year for the kids?), but also said he didnt really know. But he does know that he needs more time.
He told my mom he plans to be here with me for my birthday this year (he hasn't been with me on my bday for three years).
Both my mom and my sister commented to me immediately that H is almost like his old self again. So much different than he was when they say him last June. More comfortable and relaxed in his own skin.
I learned about this two days ago, but needed some time to process it.
I have no expectations. I realise this sounds like MLC script, however, I have no expectations. I am so pleased he seems to have reconnected with my mom and sister. He continues to be pleasant if and when I initiate a text, however he has not done so yet (coach said its not unusual) and for some reason he has not spoken to the kids for awhile.
Coach asked me how I would behave with him if he was not H, but someone I liked. I said I would probably flirt more, and be more trusting.
It made me realise that if anyone were to really and truly start again with their spouses, the past has to be let go of. I would have to treat H like a stranger. Take everything at face value, no judgement of who I think he is or what he was, etc. Just get to know him.
Everyone is excited for him to come today.
Thanks for reading all
Love you so much x
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
