Generally what we advise people here is that there IS an A taking place whether you know it or not. In absence of a PA or EA there is probably at least an IA (imaginary affair). If the WAS doesn't have a real person in mind, then they conjure one up and then they decide that that white knight is waiting just around the corner to sweep them into a loving embrace as soon as they can ditch the LBS. So you don't really need to snoop, because it's safe to assume she is engaging in some type of A even if it's "just" an IA.
A lot of WAS's eventually find out the grass isn't greener, and in fact when they get close to it they find it to be burnt toasty brown and inedible. But, that's their journey. We can't speed it up through anything we do, but we can slow it down if we try to intervene. So we work on ourselves and give them time and space to work on themselves.
