This is because we MLCers can only handle so much intense emotions. Looking into the spouse's eyes is an intimate activity. When it becomes too much for us, we do the avoidance dance with you.
But Wonka my dear, you don’t understand, I want the intimacy thing back already.
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FY, where are things with you and W right now? Are you sharing the same bed? Do you have any light physical touches? Terms of endearment?
We are still in separate beds. She will accept a head massage/hair brushing, and will thank me for it. I only do this once every couple of weeks or so, when things are going well, because I don’t want to appear desperate. She won't initiate, but I've gotten her to do the same for me a couple times. But I sensed some reservation in her body language so now I don’t pursue it.
Most other touching is incidental, because we live and do things together. We hold onto each other for family pics. It would be satisfying if I didn’t know it was only to keep up appearances.
Terms of endearment? I slip out a few with her occasionally. She never does with me. She only recently started to replace a mumbled “hey” with a more pleasant “Hello” when she comes home. This means she's almost back in bed, right?
Thanks Wonka!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
