H forwarded me an article today that was written about him and his business. He sent the article because a picture of S5 was included in the article. It was cute to see S5 in the magazine. After looking at the pic, I read through the article. My H talked about how he was hospitalized two years ago and was thinking about his life and what he wanted to do with it. It talks about how his illness propelled him to make a change with his business. It then goes on to talk about how he started this new business and that it has been a success. Of course, H mentions that he started the business with BIL and the OW.
Instead of responding to my H and writing what I really feel, I figured I would write it here: "This is exactly why we cannot be friends. You send me an article that pretty much says that your illness caused you to wake up and make changes in your life. I know that you were focusing on your changes with your job, but that was also the exact same time that you checked out of our marriage. Without letting me know, you said goodbye to me and replaced me with the OW. She is now your right hand woman in your business and your life. While we will always co-parent our boys, you and I are nothing. Although it is hard to read, it is just another reminder that I need to detach. Another reminder that I DESERVE so much better."
It may not seem that way based on my recent posts, but I really am getting so much stronger. A future on my own does not seem as scary as it did before. I used to question whether I will ever be truly happy again. While I am not there yet and still have a long way to go, I know that I will be happy again.
