bent not broken

[BrightFuture]

Willbwell, you’ve an excellent advice from job. I completely agree with everything. It is all about your H. If you start telling him about your feelings right now, he will consider it as more pressure and more reasons to run away. In one of the R boos I’ve read the author suggests to completely agreeing with spouses’ negative feelings, validating and not defending yourself. The author watched it in his practice that this causes the negative feelings to diminish. I’m still on the fence about what to say when the D subject is brought up. According to the author of that book, when you agree with the D, most of the time this subject just goes away. If you feel like you cannot do that, you can say that you don’t want the D, but you will accept it, if this is what H wants.

I know from the personal experience how much anxiety you must be feeling in anticipation of the talk. Try to prepare yourself for the worst. Run all the scenarios, prepare for the answers, and then put it aside. Think some positive thoughts about the conversation. I know it is difficult, but if you practice it long enough, you will get it. Thinking of you.