bent not broken

[willbwell]

I am just working some things thru my head here. I know I am putting a lot of emphasis on h right now. I know what to do for me and I am, but I want to work thru some thoughts....
Any feedback please advise

h likes to say 'we must keep moving forward' I want to ask him how is D moving forward? seems like moving backward to me.

h has said he has 'moved on' he has grown 'distant and apart'

BTW, I am reading from an email h sent to me back in july.

h says we were on parallel forward moving lanes in life.
h said he grew apart and it became the norm to go our separate ways... I want to say to h that I disagree. he chose to go his separate way.

h said he didn't experience my pain, he experienced his own.
This pain was brought on by him.

h says he wants to leave because he is not engaged or as comfortable as he should be. That is his issue, that is his doing really. that makes me sad for him.

following typical MLC, h has no contact with friends, his sisters, and less and less with the kids.

H asked me one time what he can do for the kids? I said how about get some therapy? That obviously didn't go over too well.

I would like to say to h that I have a busy semester. he knows this. I do like being in school. It has been so good for me.
But, school now takes up my time. I don't get to volunteer at d's school anymore. I would like to be helping s17 with the college search. This is what I should be doing and not spending what little free time I have thinking about, reading about, this sit!
It p*sses me off.
How to say that to h without anger...

h seems resigned to D. he wants to just go to work and do his own thing. H says he hopes that someday the boys will see that their father really does love them(and they will move forward)
he recognizes that he has hurt their hearts.
he wont though do anything to fix it though

I would like to ask h how is it ok with him that I do everything for the kids? oh, sure he pays the bills. I do thank him for that.

well, I need to go get ready for class.
I know I am supposed to let him go.
I didn't break him.
It is just such an awful shame