Yes. Emotions and thoughts will fluctuate with the WAS. Which is why MWD emphasizes in DR to "believe none of what they say, but look to their actions." I think you're starting to get DBing and understanding the underlying principles in the DR book. A slow learner, but you're doing mighty fine!
I'm thinking, sitting from my own perch, that W is probably feeling sadness over missing out on family. So she's indirectly reaching out to you via BIL. Take this as a good sign on W's thawing out. In due course, she will reconnect with the family. It is just that you're on her timeline. Sloweee.
Keep your focus on your boys...it takes a while to earn their trust with consistent actions. Have you thought about doing some fun, joint activities with them like going out for a hike. This provides excellent bonding time for you guys. Whatcha think?
