Hello, welcome to the forums! First I agree with GM that you really don't want her to read the book. The reason is because if she reads it and you implement it, she will see all your actions as "oh that's something he read that in the book and now he's trying to use all these tricks to get me back". The WAS has to see many months of consistent changed behavior before they start thinking the LBS really has changed.
Originally Posted By: allofus
We sold our two bedroom townhouse in october 2013 and moved in with her parents.
Are all of you still living with her parents? Have you ever had a plan in place to move out? This types of situations can create a LOT of resentment.
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The day before thanksgiving I got laid off from my job.
I don't think it's a coincidence that she asked for D the same day. When you lost your job she probably saw that as killing any chances of moving out of her parents' place.
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I asked her to reconsider her decision to get the counseling. She said she felt like she was backed into a corner and felt trapped.
That's pretty common, they see MC as pressure and they do not want any pressure. Don't push for MC because she'll just use it to justify her reasons for wanting to end the M.
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However, our sex life never recovered.
What do you mean by this, do you mean it wasn't passionate or it became very infrequent?
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After the boys are in bed, she will come down and we will chat. Not about what is going on or what we are going to do and how we are going to do it. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing.
It's a good thing, if you read Sandi2's 37 Rules you'll see that it's bad to discuss the M. Keep all talk light and fluffy. Remove all pressure from her. Give her time and space.
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Where do I begin?
If you're still out of work then that's the first thing you need to get serious about- find a job. If you can't demonstrate that you can support the family and get them out of her parents' house then I don't think the rest of your DB'ing is going to matter. Does your W work or is she a SAHM?
