Barrybran II - Six Weeks In

[Barrybran]

Oh, something that did come up was that she asked what I had told my parents about our situation. No cues, she just asked out of the blue. When she first mentioned separation I had no idea how to handle things and noone to talk to (my wife wasn't interested in talking). My wife said I could tell my parents and I did. I told them about my wife's wish to separate and my infidelities. Apparently, the way I described things to my wife was that I had played down telling my parents about my part in everything. That was an eye opener as I did tell my parents what I did. Since finding DB, I've not mentioned anything to anyone except my wife. Whilst things are awkward at the moment, the proof is in the pudding that DB works and whatever my Dad suggested doesn't.

Something else my wife mentioned was that I was a lot like my Dad. My Dad has been emotionally abusive to my Mum since before I was born. He's aggressive, she's submissive and yet they've been together for 30+ years. There's a lot I don't like about their relationship but they've somehow made it work for them and I can't imagine one without the other anymore. Anyway, my wife told me I had displayed some traits (prior to DB) such as talking down to my wife and criticising her, classic traits of my Dad. Apparently, I've been better (how much, she didn't elaborate) since DB but the conversation was incomplete.

So I'm picking up little things along the way. It's not a barrage of information like when we first discussed our situation in depth but trickles when things are on her mind AND she's willing to tell me. Unfortunately, this has meant a few unfinished conversations now so I've had to roll with the information I have and wait for the stuff I don't know. How I speak to/about my wife was an implied 180 but I guess it's going to be more explicit now.