One baby step at a time...

[2ndTimeHurt]

So after having a pity party for myself at work I do feel better. Who knows for how long though.

Today was strange but expected. My ex is all over the place. Very hard to have a conversation with her. We agreed that we'd take our son swimming today after she was done work. Later on I text her to verify a pick up time. She texts back saying she is on the fence about me coming. Says she doesn't want to make it a habit. Then she says she will do laps while I swim with him. I just tell her to have fun with him and i'll just drop him off. This confuses her so she calls me. I restate I'll just drop him off. She then says(about it becoming a habit(I'm actually confused by that statement)), s3 will want to go more and that I'll probably need to buy a pass. I say ok sounds good. Then she says she doesn't know if I'll have to pay for s3. I'm still confused as to why she was saying this in regards to it becoming a habit. Bad backtracking attempt? Anyway, I tell her I'll get s3 dressed and I'll pick her up from work(she works down the street) and take them to get water wings then I'll drop them off at the pool. On the way to get water wings she says maybe she'll soak in the hot tub while i swim with s3. Shes got some nasal infection and feels off. I say sounds good. While getting water wings she says that maybe WE should take him to the play structure in the facility. I say sounds good. Then she says maybe WE should just get some fast food and eat at her place while discussing s3's nursery school options. We ended up doing the last option. See what I mean about her not being able to make up her mind!!!

During all of that, she asked how I was doing(surprisingly I was in a better mood than she was). I said I have a million emotions going on. I have enough tools to figure it out. I swear she loves the drama that comes with me being hurt even though she says she cares and doesn't want to hurt me.

Later on she decides to tell me something about om. Damn, am I writing om now in my posts!!! She tells me he is fb friend's with a very close friend of mine/family. I resist the urge to say anything regarding him. She just says small world eh?

I'm mind reading here, but it really does feel like she's baiting me into arguments.

During our fast food run, I assumed she was just buying herself something. So I ordered what she wanted and proceeded to drive thru. She basically snaps at me and says arent you getting anything?! I tell her that I didn't hear she was buying me anything. She says "you drive her crazy sometimes", "I asked you where do we want to eat?". I stayed calm and just said sorry, I didn't hear you say that. She then continued on about me driving her crazy. I just kept my mouth shut.

The evening was weird but I'm guessing it's par for the course based on my situation.