No, Cadet is not referring to patience. He is referring to using your time wisely for you. Your h is out on the street doing whatever he needs to do to find himself. While he's doing that, you've been given the opportunity to work on you, i.e., to do the things that you've put on the back burner, as well as rediscovering the person you were pre-marriage.
Patience, on the other hand, is one of the ingredients we must either have or learn in order to walk this path.
Since your h appears to be moving very quickly in filing for a divorce, I will suggest that you protect your assets/financials, get your ducks in a row where it matters...your bank book. Make sure that you know about your joint accounts, credit cards, mortgage, etc. This is the time that you need to become familiar with what the laws are in your state when it comes to divorce and support for you and your child.
If he's made up his mind about divorce, as it appears from your posting, there is nothing at this time that will convince him to change his course of action. The more you try to convince him that this is too sudden or it's not the right thing to do, the more he's going to push forward. Yes, you can slow down the process, but it's costly.
I'm very sorry that you are here, but you are now a member of our little family. I'm sorry to see that things can move so quickly in your area. Try to keep the focus on you and your child as much as you can. I know you want to stop the divorce, but if he files, you won't be able to. He is the only one that can do that once he's filed.
Continue to post and I'll come back later to check on you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
