Before I left on my last business trip, E had told me that she wanted a separation. She needed space from me. I listened to what she had to say and really didn't respond with much. What was there to say?
Just say what I did- that you would prefer that she stay and work on the M but if she feels she must leave to be happy then you support her in her decision. Make it clear that YOU are not leaving, SHE needs to leave if she wants to. Also make it clear that while you support her, it is HER decision, you're not going to make it for her.
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I told her that I wished she wouldn't leave, but I would respect her request.
Good, that's not too different than what I said.
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As I was getting ready to head to our guest bedroom for the night, she called me aside and told me she wanted to "try again". I said, "ok".
Based on the fact that she's still partying late into the night, I don't think she's really committed to it.
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E's approach at fixing things in our relationship has always been to bury it and pretend that it didn't happen.
Did you do MC or anything when you had problems before? We're constantly telling people here when they get into piecing- you CANNOT do this right without professional help.
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Any time I have ever tried to talk to her, addressing something that she and I disagree about, she gets irritated, upset and withdraws.
That's my W too. We really broke through that when we attended Retrouvaille. Unfortunately she was too far gone for the M to be saved by then.
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At times, I just want to call it quits and move on. That's always an option, but wouldn't it be better for both of us to accept each other, stop tearing each other down and start encouraging, protecting and lifting each other up?
Yes, because otherwise the same baggage just gets carried into the next R.
