Me 15 months on - standing - detaching

[ye21]

Hello hotwheel, I am new in this forum but well I can read your history and maybe help you out a little.

Relationships could be very complicated or easy going, its like work, there are always things that we have to improve...
But at the same time we have to be honest with ourselves and love ourselves, you have to love you right now.

It seems that you have lost all the self confidence that you had once in yourself and you are taking ABUSE from the family of your wife, and you know why they are treating you like that?
Because you are the first one who is doing that to yourself.

Be gentle and accept the situation, your W has accepted her xexual orientation and you CANT change that and its not something that she might be confuse about it, and if she is only time will tell, now you are distracted and not focus, you cant see that your kids are more important just because the selfish vision that comes up everytime that we split with somebdody is blocking you....

Time to move on and think, ok she is gay and probably all the time she was in relationships with men it was really hard and made her suffer a lot. So congratulate her and help her by letting go, this is not an affair its a sexual orientation and she is not gonna change that.
Its not like you like the Yankees and suddenly things change and you like other team, this is more deep, she was probably playing a role...going to church, getting married and having kids to make everybody believe that is what she wanted, she is the one who soffered here for probably a long time.

In the same way its not your responsibility or your fault, go ahead and answer her text messages you don't need anymore 180 here, you just need to heal and start taking care of yourself, probably soon you will be able to start with somebody else, and cut contact with her family, at the end this problem is your problem and her problem, nobody else.

you can do that, your situation even if you don't see it now its pretty easy, so just be gentle again with yourself and show empathy for what she probably soffered all this years, maybe that conversation with her will be the one who lead you to a heal, take her for a coffee and ask her how it was her childhood if she knew she was gay years ago and how she was able to deal with that, have a good journey my friend.