Some hope

[TipAnna]

Our stories are similar and find comfort that by applying the 180's you have been able to to make yourself stronger and in the process bring him closer. Kudos!!

I have not been physical with my husband since I found out about the A, and I am in the process of reading and applying the DR steps.

Yesterday, he had a breakdown and told me "he never meant to hurt me" and "he really thought I was the one", and "does not understand how he's made a mess of his life"..he is in a clinical depression and I believe is hanging on to the OW cause she makes him feel "up" and "happy" right now. He has trouble controlling his emotions and focusing. Might be cause he is depressed or maybe he's realizing the consequences of his mistake. Either way, I take it as a little victory that he may come around..

In the meantime, like you, I am working on me, touching base with old friends, exercising, keeping busy reading, walking, whatever!! Some days are better than others, but I am still having trouble distancing myself emotionally from him..

Can i ask, have you applied the LRT method yet? I feel that by him staying in the house and me, still doing the day to day for him (cooking, making lunches, etc..) , I am just enabling him and not taking care of me! Although leaving the house is not an option, how do you manage to apply the 180's while still living together and knowing he still sees the OW?