You are making a massive mistake tolerating her continued contact with the OM. It's a mistake that I made after and early discovery of my wife's EA, and it only lead to them continuing in the A. Your wife is an addict- she is addicted to the OM. She is only placating you. In reality, she wants to keep her relationship with the OM going. She either wants to work on the M or she doesn't. Do not be a doormat and allow the continued contact.
