You can't. You can't control your wife. All you can do is decide what YOUR boundaries are, and what YOU will (or won't) abide in your marriage. Are you willing to live in an open marriage? Are you willing to live in a marriage knowing your wife is still having contact with someone she's had an affair with?
This is hard for us betrayed spouses to wrap our brains around, especially us MEN. But the sooner you come to grips with the fact that YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR WIFE, the better off you will be. It is at the same time both a terrifying and then ultimately a liberating realization.
