One baby step at a time...

[2ndTimeHurt]

Oh boy.... This hurts. It's like everything that happened during our first break up is happening again but in fast forward!! My brain is hurting and I really need to calm down. Who is this girl?

Today we talked for like 8 hours!!! Turns out she has been dating a guy for the last 3 weeks. He's 38 and has a 6 year old. From what I gather he usually does l9ng term relationships. Never been married. This f*cking hurts to the core. She met him online.

All the classic script is being played out here. Changes being made that I would've loved to see during our r. That happened the last time we broke up as well. Telling me she wants me to be happy with someone else. Ugh!!! It's like I know what's going to happen but I just have to sit through this sh*t and watch.

Surprisingly I held it together for the most part. So many things she was saying was just so wrong!! Not even from my perspective but facts. Funny how they rewrite history like that. They forget any good and just focus on the bad.

She ended up talking about what's been going on with her, family stuff and work and friends.

I'm contemplating a new game plan. It's the same as last time. I have to fully detach, date, and be that super nice guy who is better than anyone she knows. I have to do family time, that's step/goal number one.

I found out some more reasons why she left me again. But who knows if it's just how she's feeling today. The list might be different tomorrow. But what I gather is this. She was super pissed that I was upset about her joining a 6 month pool league with that guy she had casual sex with; claims that I didn't change my jealousy issues(which weren't really issues). She was upset that I didn't move ahead with the stuff I said I would do fast enough. I was in fact getting the ball rolling just wasn't fast enough for her liking.

Ugh!! My mind is mush right now.

Someone point me in the right direction!!!

Ps. I hate these emotional posts, 10 bucks says I end up feeling better in a few posts.