maybe a bit off the edge?

[dingo]

Spent most of the evening watching football with friends and am having a pretty good time.

Taking the day off tomorrow and going hiking with some other friends. I used to hike with my wife always and there is a list of mountains for a local achievement that we planned to climb ttogether. I have been working on finishing this list since high school and the last few years, we have been catching her up. Since the drama started, I have put my list on hold but no more- doing two of them tomorrow. Not as punishment to her but to start to separate these activities and do them with others.

I spent some time really trying to be objective today about the current state of my R. I think that my hope really blinded me to the truth. I haven't really had a good day with her in a long time. Even the days when she was 'back', I was still very insecure about things. After the first revert back to the A, I don't think I ever really believed that it was over. I really need to get away from this. I need to stop putting her on a pedestal and look at the choices she is making now.