my wife left, but still lives with me

[tough spot]

That could be part of her irritation. 'why is he changing now'. Maybe they don't like the answer to that question....'because i never f'ing brought it up these past months cause i have been too busy planning my exit'

She went to bed early with one of the kids. We occasionaly let one of the little ones climb in with us if we go to bed around the same time they do. Then the spouse who stays up later moves the kids to their bed when they go to bed.

So maybe she went to bed but will come out talking after the little one goes to sleep. However, she is literally one of the most stubborn and 'strong' women i have ever known.....so most likely she will just go to sleep. I say 'strong' because while it may seem that way, it is possible that she is just really too weak to ask for help.