I have told her that if something needed done and I wanted to do it I was going to do it for no other reason than it needed done or it makes me feel better about our house.
you could also add, "because I realize I made a mistake. I should have been doing more in the past." If, in fact, that's true.
And then leave it alone.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss