bent not broken

[willbwell]

thanks Portia, its true my kids are learning a lot from me on how I am handling this unsettling event in our lives.
Because it is our lives. It is not just about h.

To me that is the hard part accepting. that h wouldn't atleast try and work for his kids sake. No I can't make him do anything.
I know he felt he had 'to run' h doesn't want to look inside. I see him filling that void with the hrs he spends with his job.

His job has enormous responsibility.
he doesn't want to come home at the end of the day to more responsibility. Can't change anything about that... being a parent comes with responsibility.
the job thing, he could change if he wanted... but I truly believe he loves his job and there is a big ego kick that comes with it.
marriage and family just can't compete.

I have a very busy semester ahead. That's good because it will keep me busy , distracted.

I know it will be at times overwhelming. I also know I will take it as it comes, stay organized and not borrow trouble.
The day will always bring choices... do I have time for yoga? should I take a nap? should I go ahead and make the grocery run that needs to be done? there are only so many hrs in the day.

I am still sad for h and what he is missing and giving away.

there was no D talk so I suppose we stay status quo for now. I am ok with that.