LTH - your story is awesome, and I believe my W is the same way about the A. I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to write all that out, and be honest about yourself. Truth be told, I'm probably lucky because the PA was less than a week; there was no romantic connection, and very minor emotional, and the result of the PA was to make W feel what she described as "dead inside and disgusted".

The texting bothers me because of the spite involved, not because I'm worried she still has feelings or would have an A again. I really don't think she would, but what kind of person would say they were sorry, beg to be married, commit 100%, then do something so hurtful just to throw something in your face? It would never cross my mind to do something like that; it just seems vile.

---------------------------

Anyway, it's been a weird week. Last week, I found out that because of W's spending our savings, our tax return is pretty much gone. I told her I was very angry, but I wasn't going to yell or be nasty, but I really needed her to understand that this kind of thing can't happen again. She got mad and told me to get out and slammed the door. (She hates being held accountable for stuff). I felt really bad even though she was the only one who acted poorly, so I tried to call her to apologize. Nothing. I texted her a couple of times to see if she was OK. Nothing. It was at that point that I realized I was still very attached - because I was feeling bad for HER being in the wrong, and I kind of freaked out that she would WAW again. She was silent for almost three days, and then finally texted me just to let me know she had a minor fender-bender so was going to contact the insurance.

So, I detached that day (last Friday). Like, on the spot. It was the weirdest feeling, honestly. If someone told me they detached in a moment, I would call them a liar, but it's true. I realized that I'm having a great life, and I'll continue that alone, with W, or with someone else. So, now, I get to CHOOSE to be with W, not because of a piece of paper, or some misguided loyalty, or fear of being alone. W did finally call me and tell me that she would deal with her debt, and wanted to keep moving forward.

I feel like I'm stuck in a bit of limbo again, but it's OK. I am rocking out at work, having good times with the kids, going out with friends, and planning on getting new carpet!