Here We Go!

[lovethehub]

I have quite a different perspective on some A's, not all ( and certainly not mine, there are some circumstances you just don't cheat under, like pregnancy). But I can really see this. And I was told to leave my H before we were married so many times. And he was a cheater before . But I stuck by him. But I should have been the one to leave.

GM,

That is my perspective as the cheater trying to make it work. I understand what you are saying and I agree not all circumstances are the same. "And he was a cheater before" - I had an ex like that. He, too, cheated on me when I was pregnant and I found out after he had cheated in every R. He is married now and I know for a fact he has cheated on her, too. Some people are serial cheaters and will cheat no matter how good/bad the R is. The majority of people I know that have cheated fall into the category of "I never thought I would do that". It's too bad everyone isn't given a copy of DR before they get married. I think most M's go bad because we lack the tools to do a better job.

H and I are much better now but that didn't happen until I was truly able to stop justifying my A. I didn't even realize I was justifying in the beginning. Once I understood my behavior better and worked on my own issues, I was able to let go of "yeah but you did this and that's why I did that". It no longer mattered to me, I just wanted to move forward together and build a better M. Now that we realize how dangerous it is to neglect time together no matter how hard it is to afford/fit in, and now that we can talk about things more effectively, we are definitely moving forward. We still have a long way to go!