Hi LB What I meant was you persisted when people said give up. I wondered if that is part of the control issue . For me I like controlling, hate being told what to do.. go the opposite way. You are gooxd at ontrol so you controlled yourself to do what you want.. I have probably made it more confusing now..
so I won't say I am done.. just this week taking a little break from caring about him very much... he is not really worthy of my thoughts at the moment..
Hmmmm I have one friend who wanted me to get a D, she lives 1800 miles from me so I didn't have to interact with her much. Another thought I was being to "easy" on my H but she and I have parted ways. I didn't tell many people that we were S, so I didn't get a lot on people telling me to give up. I don't think I ever really looked at it as giving up or not giving up. After a time I was just living my life.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
labug, so glad I stopped by your thread today - lots of good stuff from you and Betsey. Always nice/comforting for us new(er)bies to hear how others ahead of us felt when they were in our shoes. And to know that we are never truly done with self-improvement; we need to do our best and refrain from judging ourselves through the process.
And I LOVE this:
I have a new favorite phrase: Not my circus, not my monkeys.
Hope you have a great day, bug!
me: 44 XH: 42 M 11 years D10 and S8 Bomb drop 9/27/13 D final 7/1/14
I know it's hard to believe this from your present standpoint but even tho this journey will challenge everything you took for granted before, it can open up a life you never imagined. That doesn't mean great wealth or fame but power. Power over your life. Hang in there.
In other news... My IC asked me a very telling question this week. I was talking about the changes my H has made and how different things are this time around as far as our communication.
She asked: Are these new behaviors for H or is it because you are different and he feel safe?
Bingo! As I said to her, "You are so insightful."
Changing you can change your R.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
You meet people everyday as per your job requirement. From an introvert to another, how do you break any awkward silences if any?
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
Good question. In my work, I rarely have awkward silences because there's usually always information to share.
I used to be concerned with silences but my IC and I have worked on that and I realize it's not my responsibility to keep a conversation going. Silence doesn't have to be uncomfortable.
I'm more uncomfortable with people I don't know who want to "chat" about nothing.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I used to be concerned with silences but my IC and I have worked on that and I realize it's not my responsibility to keep a conversation going. Silence doesn't have to be uncomfortable.
what comes after that 'silence' then? just move away?
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
Well sometimes after a brief exchange between a person you just met, there will always be a momentary awkwardness followed by silence.
M35 XW34 D5 D4 M 6years T 10years Bomb 5/2013 Joint Petition signed 6/2013 Moved out end of 8/2013 Court Hearing of Joint Petition 9/2013 D finalized in 3 months - no news yet
