Now I'm not real. Now I'm still holding back the "real" for the time that the "real" doesn't live in anger.
Ok, my friend, you know I always keep it real with you. It is time to think about when and how you are going to deal with that anger, right? Otherwise, you cannot fully move forward. And if you dont deal with it, that's not a great place to be in for long, nor is it a place in which your marriage can continue to thrive. I had told you that it was important for both of you to come at that from a place of strength and that you needed to be on steady ground. I still believe that.
I know there are still triggers. So, I dont think you are where you need to be to deal with it yet. But, what do you need to see and feel in order to think about getting there?
Originally Posted By: Raine
It would have been good enough for the majority, but it wasn't good enough for us, to prevent this. And I know, CRISIS, and I know it would have happened to whoever he married, but I still struggle with that.
If you are saying your marriage was very strong and you both did what you needed to in order for it to be, why, then, is it so hard for you to see that it was a crisis?
I think, my friend, knowing you as I do, that you want to find the magic point of what caused this. But I think you may be looking in the wrong place. It all went wrong a long time ago for your h. Years of not dealing with stuff that needed dealing with, until it all came to a head.
My fear is that you are looking at the why, which I understand, but I know you need to deal with the what. As in what happened during the crisis and how are you going to reconcile that.
Originally Posted By: Raine
I trust that it was crisis and depression. I don't trust what he tells me all the time, because he's not truthful about the past. And because I don't trust what he says, I don't trust that the crisis is just a one and done.
Not exactly sure what you mean by that. ^^^ Care to elaborate?
