That's it, I need to take their advice and if it starts to fail me I move from there. I need the guide to UK family D law and he's it right now.
There probably is a register. It doesn't really matter though. Whether she owns it or not it's still an asset or one that can be used, just like her PPI claim that she got and spent.
Nice Yoda quote F, I've always liked that one!
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
W: Yes & 5k is not gonna be anywhere near enough to put a deposit down on a house within the next 3yrs. Me: It's not about what you want to do with he money. It's about splitting the equity in our assets. You would be getting 85% of the equity which is more than fair. I can't give you what I don't have. I can get £5000 together. If you're not happy with thta we can sort if out via the solicitors. Who is your solicitor? W: How much equity is there? Send paperwork to my address and I'll sort it through my solicitor. Me: In the house there is £6500. If we agree on the amount beforehand it will save us in solicitors fees. W: If you were to remortage you'd only get 6.5k??? You had debt before the marriage. Even if you were to take that loan of 3k I had into consideration I'd be happy to give you that out of my share. Me: No, 6.5k is the equity after the debt is paid off. What either of us had as an asset or debt beforehand is irrelevant. W: What is the total equity in the house? Me: Not including any of our debt I think it's about 58k.
Sunday
Drops kids off Sunday night. S2 was ill. Noticed her car parked right outside her house. I never mentioned it as I wanted to do it via text and have a record of it.
Monday
W: Do you want access to a dropbox file I use to share pics of the boys. Me: Yes please. How is S2 today? W: Full of snot. Got a temperature. S4 now has a temperature too. Got a feeling it's gonna be a house of illness within 24hrs. Me: I noticed your car last night. Why did you tell me you have sold it? W: Lol....I thought youd knew that was a joke. W: Guess you can't get humour through txt. Did you not see it Friday? Me: Considering the topic it's a strange thing to joke about. W: You asked how I got the kids to nursery and my reply was we flew! W: Thought you'd have put two and two together. Me: What are your thoughts on the settlement? W: I'm not going to accept 5k. I've spoken to my solicitor and think it's now best you send me the paperwork and we deal with it that way. The house is probably also gonna have to be sold so we are both starting fresh on an equal playing field. Me: Why is 6k fine but 5k not? I can actually make 5k happen. We could easily spend that 1k that I don't have to give arguing over this. Even after I remortgage I will still be left with xxxxx amount of debt with credit cards and loans. It's not all paid off. I understand that because you see me living in that house that you deserve more. It's not there. It's just a massive pile of debt. The equity figure is an estimation if the house sold for it's valuation amount. It was up for sale for 6 months and not even had one 2nd viewing or offer. Me: This is how my solicitor see's it: I pay the court costs and don't try to claim any of it back form you. The equity is about 6.5k, plus your car, plus your PPI claim. You already have the car, the claim money and I'm offering you the majority of the house. I keep the debt. W: PPI claim??? W: What PPI claim? Me:I thought you got a PPI claim just after you left. Did you? W: Are you talking about that claim I made years ago? Yes...I got £958 which had to be used to buy beds for myself and the kids as well as a deposit for this house. F*ck me....are you now trying to take our beds off us??!! W: The car is valued at £1800 Me: And what are the house assets valued at? Projector, computers and all the other stuff. Stop using my car as an asset. I need it to transport the kids around. Me: Your car is an assest no matter what you use it for. You're happy to have the kids visit me while I live at my parents but your car is off limits? It doesn't work like that. I don't want to bring up your PPI claim and your car but you leave me no choice by asking for way more than you are entitled to. You left with a laptop, a media PC, camera, TV and half of the kitchen stuff. I bought your table and washing machine. We can't start delving into everything but where is it going to lead us? Me: Even if we ignore everything but the house and debt you're still getting 5k of 6.5k. Me: I will send my offer via my solicitor and go from there. There's no way you and I can sort this out. W: How on earth did I know you were living at your parents??? Yes just send me the paperwork. Me: I'm not at my parents. You suggested living there. W: Yes....just to ease your financial situation if you were struggling to pay the csa money. Look I'm not wanting all this to be messy. Just send me the paperwork and I'll see what advice my solicitor gives me and you & I can take it from there. Me: Okay will do. W: Thanks
Wednesday
Me: Can you give me a list of food you feed the kids for lunch? W: Eh W: ..why? Me: Just want different options when feeding them stuff that they will eat. W: (Gives me a long list with useful information.) Me: That's great, thanks.
Thursday W: Sends me video of S2 sleeping at the table. Me: Poor lad tires himslef out. W: He had just spent 15mins crying his eyes out in the corner for giving me cheek! Now in his bed watching Peppa Pig.
Thursday evening W: Sends me email. The title is "I'm not stalking you....just thought I'd share a smile." It's a video of some cats.
The conversation about the equity, her car, claim, the debt etc I beleive is one I think we needed to have before solicitors got involved. I didn't want to spend the next few weeks getting the points across via a 3rd party. Her statement about her joking about selling the car is ridiculous.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I do feel slightly better and yes I do think it helped.
She wasn't even contemplating her car and PPI claim as part of our assets. There's 3k of our 9.5k she didn't realize she already had. Add the other 5k I'm offering, it may not be what she wants but hard to argue it's not more than fair in her favour.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Why aren't you letting the L handle this? That is what you are paying them for and it appears that she will argue for spite no matter what you offer. Next time, take a picture of the car (or whatever the object) with a date stamp and don't even mention it to her. Personally, I would not send the paperwork directly to her, I would let your L send it to her L.
M 46 H 44 D 12 S 8 M 9 T 11 BD 2/15/13 "Makes sense to stay together" 5/12/13 Agree we are 'healing' 7/13 Definitely Piecing 9/13
I know it costs money but if you can find them; go that way! I believe it will save you a lot of troubles. I can't remember reading about one single convo between your W and you that turned out positive and solution-oriented, and I believe you have tried most at this point.
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
Why aren't you letting the L handle this? That is what you are paying them for and it appears that she will argue for spite no matter what you offer. Next time, take a picture of the car (or whatever the object) with a date stamp and don't even mention it to her. Personally, I would not send the paperwork directly to her, I would let your L send it to her L.
My L said see if she will agree to the 5k and get back to him.
A picture of her car doesn't say whether she still owns it or not.
She seems to not want to tell me who her solicitor is. I'm tempted to tell her my Solicitor needs to know the name. From this point on I would prefer them to handle it all.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I know it costs money but if you can find them; go that way! I believe it will save you a lot of troubles. I can't remember reading about one single convo between your W and you that turned out positive and solution-oriented, and I believe you have tried most at this point.
F
You are right, same could be said about 99% of the conversations in our whole M.
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
I've been listening to Eminems greatest hits recently when I workout. Theres a song called Mockingbird where he is telling his daughter how he wants the best for her and tries to explain why her life has been the way it is and what happened between him and her Mom. He mentions that he would try again even if things were bad just for his daughters sake. Got me thinking about my sitch and what I would be willing to try.
This time last year I was my W's whipping boy. I remember having the kids every weekend while she did whatever she wanted. I never took the kids my nieces party because my W thought we should all go together or nothing at all even though she had no interest in coming. This year I get to take them and not give a single thought to what W thinks of it. I cringe at some of my past actions involving W. If I think about what i would be willing to try....I wouldn't. I don't believe for a second she has what is needed to make an R work successfully and hang in there for the long haul. Makes a me a little sad inside.
I'm looking forward to my future with a slight dissapoinment in the past and living in the moment. 5 steps forward, no steps back!
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
