I'm sorry, I totally know the feeling!! It's the flip flopping like this that really drives me crazy. Ok, you don't want me? Fine move out and let's move on. Oh, you don't know of you want a divorce? Then let's work on something! You know?
But, mine wouldn't even probably consent to a "just us" lunch right now - so, positive spin for you!
Me, 39. H, 35. 3 boys - 13, 11, 9 - 1 w/ multiple disabilities BD Dec 2012 Sort of a quasi in-house sep Nov 2013
I hope it's positive but something tells me she became insecure in my detachment and just gave me attention to reassure herself.
It's like first "you're not a husband to me, you're just a friend" then last week "no I told you the day I left that I still loved you" to "I want a relationship with you but I can't have the kids full time right now" to not acting like she wants a relationship at all.
Solution: continue detachment and path of GAL. She's not acting right and I'm not chasing her.
Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
We chatted about the kids' stuff again and then at the end she let slip that she might call me soon for another "encounter"... apparently I didn't sound enthused enough so she gave me the whole "well if you don't want, just let me know." Oddly enough, I just fake laughed it off and told her I had to go, talk to ya later.
The truth is I don't know if I'm into it...this probably makes me the dumbest male alive. I want a lot of things from her and I'm not getting them...recently I'll get sex when she's in the mood to let me know...not attractive, sorry. And FYI, the 2 times we've ML since BD were d*** stressful.
I want someone who's fun to be with, wants to hang and happy to spend the night...Makes me ask bad questions. How long has it been since I've gotten what I want from this R? It's been a long time. I used to be happy to see her, my day got less stressful when she smiled at me. Now? She's halfway to stranger, I don't trust what she's been up to and she's into being with her friends whom I *hate*.
Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
Omg. Same. I'm in my own negative place today too. Feeling like I can't take much more and I'm just as stuck as he's feeling. I was thinking, even if at some point there was some R talk - which I doubt - there would need to be some empathy and understanding for what I'm going through right now. The trust is broken and smashed into tiny pieces.
I just don't even know anymore. Anyway, sorry to hijack... But I get what you are saying, totally!!
Me, 39. H, 35. 3 boys - 13, 11, 9 - 1 w/ multiple disabilities BD Dec 2012 Sort of a quasi in-house sep Nov 2013
No apologies needed, nice to hear I'm not the only one
You're right, the trust is broken. I see her looking beautiful and instead of attracted I'm resentful. I don't know what to do with this...it's like I'm the one who needs space now. She prob won't mind, her rotten little backstabbers are probably telling her to move on without me anyway.
Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
Wow I would share that meme....loo. but I think its be pretty obvious and cause trouble
me: 47, W:49 M 16.5 years T 17 years Three kids - D17,D14, S13 Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13 Bomb drop 11/29/13 W moved out 12/5/13 I Retained L 2/20/14 D filed 3/17/14
I received an email from head office of my employer. I've won a "team of the year" award and I'm invited to receive the award at the head office and meet the CEO.
This is not only a breath of fresh air to have some success after feeling like a failure for so long, it looks very good on my career as I've been discussing my career path with my boss to help me move to the next level, take new projects.
So of course as soon as I feel like a champ, I read the final line telling me I can invite a guest...BLECH! It frustrated me. First because I remembered that I no longer have a person to bring...and then even more because it's on a Thursday and I've known for years that should I ever make the error of getting hit by a bus on a Zumba night, she'll schedule the funeral on her night off.
So I'm going alone. It's her loss. Not that she'll feel any sense of loss, I don't recall her caring much about me....specifically, caring much about anything not related directly to her.
Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
