A lil bit about me and my situation: Husband is 28 yrs old...I'm 30 yrs old...we have two boys (6 & 4), we been married for 6 yrs about to be 7 in May.
I met my husband in the military I was an active duty, he still in the military we both was in San Diego. My husband was previously married that marriage last for 6 months, and we met at work, we start dating, we got in a relationship, we got married and start a family like we both wanted. During our first yrs married we had our ups and downs, but I started to have trust issues because he was txting other females inappropriate stuff and I found out and well that's how everything started and also when he met me I was skinny since I was in the military, and since I had the boys I gain weight so I just think he don't like the way I look and I have low self-esteem. Every time we had our problems or fight we always fixed it. We was like this for our first 4 or 5 yrs I was a stay at home mom so every time he come home after work I wanted him to talk to me and spend time with me and that was punching him away. Well it was time for us to move to another state military orders, we came here to Illinois where his from and his family, I didn't want to come here but I set my positive mind and I say let's go let's start a new life so we came here the boys was in school and daycare, I found a full time job, I met new friends and all that good stuff I wasn't doing back in San Diego. For the first time I felt good about myself and my marriage and we was good, every time he needed a "me time" I gave him his space etc. Last year on my birthday he got drunk and he txt one of my son teacher from daycare some crazy stuff and I saw it and it pissed me off I was upset about it, I told him he say he was drunk and all that but he didn't say he was sorry, but me to have a good marriage I forgave him and let that in the past. He worked in the city so he had to drive like an hour from work to home and it was a lot so we started planning to move closer to his work and that was the plan, while this he was staying over his aunty house during the week and he was coming home Friday, Saturday and sunday, so I was at home by myself with the boys and the dog doing everything on my own something that he didn't help me, at one point I told him I feel like a single mother that upset him.
Well I started noticing weird like sad, frustrated and I asked him what's was wrong? and that when he dropped the bomb and he say he need a "break" so I said "ok" and one week later he say we need to separated we can get our own apartments, now this was a lot for me, I was going crazy thinking what just happen? What did I do? all this question was going thru my head....So in December we both got our places and since he wanted to spent time with the boys and be there for them he decided to take the boys with him. So, we officially starting living separate since jan 1st yeah on my birthday. And two weeks later he called me and ask me how I feel about all this I say that I'm still hurt and confused about all this, he say he like it, he enjoy be at home with the boys, etc.
Now the reason for all this is cause he never enjoy his life since he was married before right after high school and then me so he haven't enjoy life and that's what he want and he sound so selfish, so now he mentioned the "D" words something that it wasn't it my plans or our plans. We talked the other day and he say he's confused about all this, that he talked to the boys and he started crying about the whole situation. We talked yesterday he told me he's enjoy life now, that he like it cause he don't have to check in with me and all that stuff that he can be himself. And he also telling me if we going back to San Diego that I'm going to be my old self, I told him why he have to think negative to don't think that way, that since I been here I changed a lot I noticed that I matured more since I been here. But he still have his doubt about it.
We was talking and we was bringing some stuff and he say that's the reason that push me to get the "D" words so I stop we got done talking, and after work I went a bought the Divorce Remedy book and I started reading the book and I started feeling better since I start reading the book I haven't finished the book yet cause I'm at work. But so far is like the book is talking to me, and instead of blaming him and making him to change himself, I noticed is me that need to change and maybe with a change I get to bring him back cause I do want to fix my marriage and be a happy family with our kids.
So, let's see what's gonna happen but I want my husband back and my family together again.
