H seeing FOW...again

[courageouswife]

Hello LFW!!! So good to hear from you..it has been awhile hasn't it! I am glad to see that you are doing well! I have always admired your strength and positive posts!!!

I cannot answer how many A's he has really had...who knows? I only know of the 2.

You are right in that a marriage is about moving forward as a team and yes, my H has been holding us/me back for years. We do a lot of "talk the talk" but we don't walk the walk and that is not all his fault. I've learned that about myself that I will put off my wants/needs for everyone else and if someone is not right there encouraging me to do something I want to do (like piano lessons) then I tend to forget about it!

I started searching for an IC for myself. I think that I need that in order to help set boundaries around me and to build back up my self-esteem which, tbh, has taken quite a beating!!!!

I have a list of things that I have been saying that I am going to do but haven't and I am going to start checking them off, one by one!

I am protecting myself financially...luckily, we did get all our debt paid down although H now has a truck and a motorcycle payment but those are his to worry about. My credit rating took a hit but I am working on building that back up!

I do want to focus on myself and my wants/needs and hopefully I am on my way to doing that!!!