Dealing with Uncertainty...

[NeedingMore]

artsy,
Thank you! It is good to know I am making strides. It is up and down for sure so taking one day at a time and moving forward is my mantra!

Yesterday was our date day! I have to admit is was exciting...but I think I was a little bit guarded. I mean, I still have to mentally prepare myself to hear things that may be upsetting such as his recent activities that have nothing to do with me. On the outside it seems that he is having such a great life now that he is basically a bachelor again. He describes things he does and seems so free that it is hard to imagine that he would ever want to be back in a home with me. Also, he talked endlessly about himself and work and all of his plans and business. The good news is that he did ask more about me...and I was able to tell him the things that I have been doing that really show my moving forward like signing my new lease. He was surprised to hear that I was moving back to town before my kids' end their current school year. I wanted to say "you wouldn't know my plans because you haven't asked me about them for months because you have been so self absorbed that you haven't even asked until now!!!" but I didn't say anything like that, just acted happy to have new plans, which I am. I validated and listened to him and didn't talk about myself unless he asked...he apologized a few times for talking about himself so much.
We went to lunch and then went paddle boarding in the bay. That was the best part of the day although we were limited on time because we both had to work. This was good, because I had to rush off to work and it was good to have something to do. We both agreed the day was very nice.
I am wondering if it normal to have nerves after a wonderful day like this? I feel good and grateful for the time, but have to admit it is a little weird that we are still in a eggshell type of place and it is like we are newly dating but not because we have known each other for years...its so odd. Seeing him kind of makes me feel like I am taking a few steps back emotionally because I start to wonder if things are ever going to be back to normal.
I remember reading in DR that every setback is directly related to impatience. SO...in order to avoid setback in my mind, I am going to try to have zero expectations and remain patient, because we are SO far from where we were 6 months ago and everything is moving in a positive direction. so....ONWARD it is.