I think I have an MLCer/"crisis" child.

[Dylis]

After reading some posts through the forums it looks like H is an MLCer, at the mere age of 30 at that. He moved out and left me with a 3 year old and all the household bills, which I'm now finding out, haven't been paid in months (the ones he was responsible for).

Before the forums, I came to the conclusion that he was running away from something, and boy is he really running away -- out of the country in fact. I read an older post "My Thoughts on Why They Run Away During Their Crisis" and although my H wasn't physically or mentally abused (that I know of), I believe his parents did emotionally distance themselves from him and devalued him. He has a lot of the traits listed in that post: depression, lack of confidence, sense of unworthiness, the self medicating, etc. He once told me that I show him too much love and that I should stop it. Maybe because he doesn't know how or can't reciprocrate it, so he can't handle me loving him. IDK.

The crises: his business failing, overwhelmed with finances, unable to give his family (me and D) what he believes they deserve (but not what they ask for), his parents calling him a failure and telling him that what he has is not good enough. The trigger: a really bad fight between the two of us that ended with a domestic violence arrest.

So he just wants to add the "end of our marriage" to his long list of failures and move on; not realizing that he hasn't failed and that it's not as easy to just move on. I just want him to believe in himself as much as I believe in him.

I miss him dearly.