I just read this little bit in DB. It was about taking your words and changing them to properly correlate your intentions. The clear goals you want to achieve.

It showed that instead of saying 'I don't and won't see you while you are with OW' to better focus on your wants and needs. 'I can not make you do anything, however I can control what my actions are and they are to not disrespect myself by getting caught up in someone else's mess.'
It draws a line between your actions and his and what you are accountable for and not coming off as controlling or an ultimatum.

Hope this helps!

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Me 32 H 32
D 6
S 4
S 11mth

Never allow kindness be misinterpreted for weakness.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.