But that's why I told her, "If giving you a hug sets you back, then I don't want to give you a hug. I want you to be okay." I would rather her be sad now and finally get better, than get her fix now and prolong the problem.
I don't say much because I have plenty of my own issues (and I have much to learn). Why are you making the boundaries about her? If they are her boundaries, then she doesn't have to feel bad about breaking them, right. Why are you focusing so much on how she feels?
I keep reading people tell you that boundaries should be yours for your well being and peace of mind. Own them or dump them. Don't try to turn it around and make your ex-W responsible for them. I'll bet she doesn't want to be controlled in that way.
