Reaching out for support and advice 2

[labug]

Mornings are tough. I often have bad dreams. Last night was no different.

However, I no longer wake up in the morning feeling like everything is normal just to remember that life has taken this gut wrenching turn. It is becoming my new normal.

A lot of sadness today, but I'm working through it. I haven't cried-like cried really hard with lots of tears/sobbing in a long time even though there have been many gut punches in the last couple of months. I remember at BD when I cried all the time. Does anyone else experience the incredible sadness of this sitch and not have the need/urge to bawl? Am I numb? Am I stronger? I am puzzled by this.

I am gaining strength by reading many threads this morning. Trying to catch up on the many who have kindly posted on mine.
I spent my car ride to work with the radio off in deep thought. I was listing the things I am thankful for and repeating positive words. Lots of deep breaths. I find as the day goes on I feel much better. Night can be tough. Especially sleeping alone. You'd think I'd be used to that by now.

H continues to keep odd hours and sleep patterns. He sleeps A LOT during the day, then struggles with sleeping on/off at night.

I'm going to continue to try to kick this anxiety out of my system this morning.

The sleeping/dreaming/crying thing, part of the process. It will get better as you get better. I wrote a post yesterday in my thread and it caused me to remember the early days after BD. I was a mess, I took 2 weeks off work.

Doing gratitude lists is good. What else are you doing for you?